What you are about to read will never happen. It doesn't matter how much money you contribute, how many brilliant minds you stuff into a cramped room to make the idea comprehensible, it will NEVER happen. Though the mind is free to create whatever scenarios it can, even it is fully aware of some ideas that poison the mind and endanger it. This is one of those ideas.
In a CGI, 15 minute short film. For those who have played Sonic Unleashed or Bioshock, you might have some idea how this could've worked. Shortly after completing his latest adventure, Sonic decides to retire from the adventure business. Making his hasty decision, Sonic heads back to Central Park(since every movie has to take place in New York), Sonic recalls the first dash he ever had. I'm not a fan of Sonic's voice work so he would be silent the whole time. He remembers the people he accidentally bumped into, the first time he ran across the park's pond, and at sunset when he slowed down for a moment to see the changing colors across the skyline. His retirement ends shortly when he sees an advertisement for a travel agency offering a cheap trip to Greece. Forgetting his own speed and sudden lapse into poverty, he rushes over to the closest agency and asks about the lowest price. He steps into the agency, a few seconds pass, and the door flies off the handle as Sonic dashes into a nearby dumpster and hides, waiting for the police to pass. Sitting in the dumpster makes Sonic realize how uncomfortable it can be to be a blue, anthropomorphic hedgehog, especially in an enclosed space, and decided to run all the way to Greece with his own two feet. He becomes a notorious "freak of nature terrorizing the defenseless citizens" and is up for capture by the government. His only crime is to accidentally blast past a five-year old holding a dollar bill. Such impeccable speed causes the dollar to slip through the boy's hand and drop right into Sonic's. With the first dollar he's ever owned, he buys an ice cream cone from the only person who's intrigued by his existence. He bids a quick farewell to the vendor and runs off. His trip in Greece is fun until he hears a rumbling beneath his feet. Looking back, the ground cracks and crumbles until an enormous drill blasts from the ground and spins quickly. The drill chases Sonic's tail until poking Sonic and stopping him momentarily. Sonic tumbles to the ground and grabs onto the drill, spinning him at ridiculous speeds until releasing him in a burst of blue light. The drill stops and recedes back into the ground. Sonic, running at top speeds, runs away from the mysterious being chasing him and dodges every obstacle he approaches. Shortly after, the drill reemerges and chases Sonic. Sonic approaches a gap, grabs a pole, and changes directions. The being unexpectedly crashes through the ground and reveals its entire self. It is a Big Daddy from Bioshock. The Big Daddy grabs onto the edge and hurls itself back onto the ground. Sonic is far away from the BD so the BD runs towards him and activates its rocket shoes. The BD approaches Sonic and reaches for him with his molded and rugged hand. Sonic dodges it, breaks a pipe, and hurls it at the BD's helmet, sticking it. The BD removes the pipe and uses it to swing at Sonic. Sonic narrowly avoids the BD's close swipes until the ground below him breaks and Sonic and the BD falls into the sewers. At this point, my 10th grade mind turns off and goes back to studying for a test.
Why this will never happen: First of all, the most unlikely paring of characters and the amounts of contracts for each character to appear in the film. Second, it's a short film that would require the cooperation of a major film studio to finance the film. The fact it's a CGI film would also complicate the cost. Third, the Sonic I'm describing doesn't exist in modern society or at least in SEGA's society. Making Sonic silent would anger the existing voice actors, and reduce the interest of younger fans who don't understand the beauty of a simple foot-tapping gesture compared to some saying, "Gotta get movin'!" Fourth, I've never played Bioshock and don't know what the Big Daddy's role in the game is. For the short film, you can infer that Big Daddy is a government experiment made to capture Sonic. I don't know if this is completely contradictory to the source material, but for that reason alone, the inclusion of the Big Daddies wouldn't make any sense. Also, admittedly, the scenario I've described isn't very convincing, but believe me, it would be one of a hell of a production if it ever existed.
No comments:
Post a Comment