Originally written in 11th Grade.
This was the
following project after the short story. The assignment was to use a
poem we discussed in class and make an adaptation of it, in the form of a
theatrical play. Originally, the project felt like an obligation that I
had to finish, as I couldn't connect well with the characters as I had
in my previous projects, but later in the class when we had a chance to
revise any project of our choice, I decided to revise this one since I
felt it had lots of unused potential. The first draft(of 4 pages) was
well-received in the class, more so than the short story, with some
people being really impressed at how fully fledged out and three
dimensional the characters were despite the source material. Some
criticized the prose likeness but really, for any project, it's much
easier to work with prose than with a proper screenplay. The version I'm
posting is almost 11 word-doc pages. The play was a daring departure
from my other projects, mainly due to the inclusion of female
characters, and an attempt at a story related to life other than an
exaggerated comical situation. Many told me it would've been a
worthwhile inclusion in the school's playwright festival, but I wasn't
sure it was ready for that kind of recognition. There were numerous
amounts of changes I made, such as the character's names, the timing for
moments, dialogue that wasn't period related; it was truly a difficult
but worthwhile effort. I don't know if I'll ever come back to this
project in the future, by then, much more diverse ideas will have come
and gone, but the project as it stands is still an important part of my
career as a writer, when only the characters and myself could dictate if
it would be a success. Please enjoy the one-time only showing of Degas'
Laundresses.
Pt. 1
Scene 1
Setting: 19th Century France, The Art Studio
Characters: Merle, Corentine, The Artist
Curtain
rises. Dim lights. Merle sits with her back to a large piece behind
her, unaware that it’s been painted recently. Her legs stretch towards
the audience, as if wanting them to come join her. She’s dressed in a
simple white dress with some traces of dirt. She holds her fist tightly,
covering most of her mouth. She allows one finger to be set free
unknowing that the finger curls up on her chin. She stares with contempt
at the audience for 20 seconds. She begins wincing in pain and blinks
her eyes a few times.
Merle: (pinching her left arm as punishment) Eh, ah! Aaahh…ech… (Stops pinching) Ah… (Sighs)
Lights
slowly become brighter, revealing most of the scenery. A tub of water
is at the left side of the stage, with a small pile of clothes next to
it. Merle stands up, her left leg slightly bent. She stretches her arms
towards the audience, and then clasps her hands. The rest of her motions
are simple stretches, no detail is needed for those. After she is done,
she walks over to the tub of water, and puts her knees to the floor.
She begins sweating almost immediately and uses her right arm to dry
off. She forgets about the patches of dirt on her palm, and makes salty
mud. She looks at her hand for a moment then dries off using a black
smock from the pile. She grabs a white shirt from the pile and dunks it
carelessly in the tub. She puts lots of pressure onto the shirt as if
she is drowning a helpless victim, waiting to smack it back down if it
comes up for air. She makes a puzzled expression as she quickly takes
the shirt out of the tub. The shirt is now blue. She takes a closer look
at the water, and then realizes what she has just done. She drops the
shirt, and walks back to where she had been. Lights become brighter,
revealing an enormous painting. The painting has a mixture of colors,
near the bottom, almost like a tidal wave of colors that don’t fit with
each other. It leaves a blank spot on the painting, as if it was trying
to be erased. The woman’s position is halfway towards the painting, and
half towards the audience.
Merle: No. No! No-au-ahhh! (Sobbing) Noooo! Aug-hu-ha! Ahhgggg! (Breaths deeply) Mmmm… Hoh! (Sniffles) Uh. (Coughs) (Sniffles)
There’s
a loud knock. Merle attempts to contain herself by wiping away her
tears with her dress. She dusts herself off and walks to the right side
of the stage. She looks at the reflection from the doorknob. She gets
frightened at what she’s become and cleans herself up more carefully,
evening out the marks on her face. Another knock.
Merle: (coughs) (sniffles) Ex-excuse me one moment.
Corentine: Who said that? I thought this place was empty at this time.
Merle
appears relieved to find that someone else is at the door. She grabs
the doorknob, cautiously still, and opens the door. A woman, an inch
smaller in height than her, wearing a similar white dress with a flower
stitched on it, comes in. Corentine passes Merle, and stares in awe at
the studio. She can’t help but walk nonchalantly around the stage,
walking back to where she was. Corentine sees Merle.
Corentine: Oh, I’m so sorry. I did not see you there. (Clasps her hands apologetically) Please forgive my rude-
Merle: You’re forgiven. Who are you?
Corentine: What do you mean? You…did not know I was coming?
Merle: I’ve been here most of today (clasps her hands tightly)…and yesterday (Separates hands).
Corentine: Oh, how unfortunate! Do you ever eat or-
Merle: (Staring stupefied) Wha?! Kind of question is that?
Corentine: Sorry! I was just wondering how the services-
Merle: They’re fine. Don’t worry about that.
Merle
walks away from Corentine, both arms tight and (frigid), and goes back
to the pile of clothes. Corentine walks behind her, about 5 feet apart.
Merle sits down and turns around, frowning when she sees Corentine right
in front of her.
Merle: What are you doing?
Corentine: Is this where I’m supposed to be?
Merle:
I don’t know! (Throws her hands up in the air) I don’t know anything
about you besides your tendency to ask stupid questions! Are you
supposed to be here?
Corentine: I…eh…yes. (Sits with an apologetic expression)
Merle: (Turns back towards clothes) then start folding. Don’t get in the way.
Corentine: (Like a toddler who misbehaved) Okay.
Merle
goes back to washing clothes, forgetting that the water hasn’t been
replaced. She dips a shirt in the water, splashing both of their white
dresses. She pulls it out, noticing it’s turned blue.
Merle: Aaghg!
Merle
molds the shirt into a ball and hurls it to the center of the stage.
Corentine looks at the formation and departure of the ball-shirt with a
curious expression. She can’t help but run towards the shirt, pick it
up, and look at it.
Corentine: Wow. This is interesting. (Looks at the sleeves) Ooh! (Turns the shirt around)
Merle:
(Scratching her head) will you stop that? There’s nothing special about
that shirt. It’s blue and it’s useless. That’s all you have to know.
Now get back here, right now!
Corentine: (looks away
from the shirt and leers at Merle) Hold on a minute, I’m just…a little
curious. I mean look at it! (Holds the shirt towards Merle) I mean how
does something like that happen. It’s fascinating!
Merle:
(Irritated) No, it’s useless. The great artist hates blue shirts. I
wouldn’t be too concerned over this if the shirt became red or orange.
That’s fine. But not blue. I have to get rid of the shirt.
Corentine: No! (Starts hugging the shirt) You can’t! (Hugging more tightly) Can I…at least have it?
Merle: Oh, now look at what you’ve done! Your dress is ruined, you fool!
Corentine
pulls the shirt away from her and looks down. Blue drops of water
tumble down and over the folds on her dress, leaving an intriguing
pattern on her dress, similar to the calm painting style of a Monet.
Corentine: (Looking closer) Actually, I like this. It’s much more interesting this way.
Merle: Oh, for… Fine, you can have the shirt. And I really couldn’t care less about the way your dress looks, truthfully.
Corentine: (Eyes lighting up) Oh, thank you! You are so kind!
Merle: (under her breath) Right.
Pt. 2
Corentine walks eloquently back to Merle who has picked up the tub of
water, and dunked it offstage. She comes back onstage and puts the tub
back where it was. She sits back down, where she was, and grabs a white
smock. Corentine sits next to Merle. Merle dunks the white smock in the
water and tries to scratch off some of the dirt marks. Merle goes on
with her normal routine as Corentine patiently watches on. 30 seconds go
by. Merle becomes more irritated with each passing second, as she
begins ripping her fingers through some of the clothing. 10 more
seconds. Merle’s fingers curl up like the claws of a beast, waiting to
tear into the entrails of a dying carcass. Time.
Merle:
(Dunking the shirt, splashing both of them a bit) what are you even
doing here, anyway?! You’ve done nothing but stare at me for what feels
like forever! If you aren’t going to help, then just leave!
Corentine: I’m…I’m-
Merle: Sorry?! For what? For being incompetent? Useless? That’s your own damn fault!
Corentine: (Starts tearing up) I…
Merle: My god, what is your problem? Speak!
Corentine: I had a chance and I took it! That is my problem! (A teardrop)
Merle: What are you…what?
Corentine:
(Sniffles) A chance to work with the greatest artist in France. The one
and only. (Starts crying, but hides her tears in her hands) The great
one!
Merle looks at Corentine for a few seconds as
Corentine’s tears scatter onto the ground. Merle reconsiders her next
comment and thinks for a moment.
Merle: Oh. Uh… (Still irritated but a bit sympathetic) so…you’re a painter?
Corentine: (sniffles) Yes. (Sniffles) I’ve painted many things. Well, I am a painter but I want to be a better one.
Merle: (pinching herself over guilt) Eh! (Lets go) Listen, I understand your problem, but why did you come here of all places?
Corentine: I would tell you but…I can’t think straight right now. I just want to start by apologizing for being-
Merle: No, I’m sorry. I thought you were a laundress. Or my replacement. I overreacted. I do that from time to time.
Corentine: That’s fine. (Cracks open a little smile)
Merle:
(almost as if the act is foreign, tries to mimic her smile) listen, you
look like a wonderful girl but… you can’t work here. You wouldn’t learn
anything that you don’t already know.
Corentine: What do you mean? (Wipes tears from the right side)
Merle: I…
Corentine: Yes?
Merle: (Stares at the ground for 8 seconds) I think…you might enjoy yourself here.
Corentine: (Coming closer) What?
Merle:
(Looks up) YOU’LL BE FINE HERE!(Sees Corentine shaken) Oh-(pinches
herself) Ah, ah, eh! (Lets go) You’ll-(coughs)You’ll be fine here. Make
yourself comfortable.
Corentine: (A little stunned) Uh…why did you…
Merle: (Grabbing another shirt) Oh, that always happens. You will get used to it.
Corentine: (Jokingly, but still phased) Well, I hope that I do!
Corentine,
tearless, feels gratified in learning that she can stay.
Overdramatically, she begins skipping with joy around the stage while
Merle proceeds with washing the shirt.
Corentine: La,la,la,la,ala,ala,laala-(trips) Ahh!(Falls on the ground, a few feet away from Merle, dragging her dress) Ohhh!
The
noise alerts Merle, and she turns to see Corentine on the ground. She
puts her shirt down momentarily and picks up a different one. She dunks
it in the water. Corentine is sitting up, searching her body for
injuries. Merle hurls the wet shirt. The shirt flies across the air,
little drops of water drip on the stage, hitting Corentine directly on
her chest, wrapping itself around her like a mother grasping her long,
lost child.
Corentine: Ah!
Corentine removes the shirt and holds it on her arms.
Corentine: Why did you do that?
Merle: What are you expecting? It is my job and now it is yours.
Corentine looks at the shirt carefully, a bit disappointed that it isn’t as vibrant and wonderful as the blue shirt.
Corentine: Mmm…
Merle: Well? What are you waiting for? Get started!
Corentine: M- Oh! Uh, I do not kn-
Merle: Oh, what kind of excuse is that? Come here and I will tell you how it is done.
Corentine: (Standing up with the shirt in her right hand) Oh… thank you. Thank you very much!
Merle
picks up the shirt she had before and dunks it the tub. Corentine walks
over to Merle and sits next to her, eager to begin her lessons. Merle
moves a few inches away. Merle takes out the shirt and shows it to
Corentine. Merle drops the shirt.
Merle: OH! I…forgot something! I will be right back!
Merle walks offstage. She returns a few seconds later with a scrub brush and a bar of soap.
Merle:
I must have lost half a mind to think I could do this without soap.
(Turns to Corentine) Pay very close attention. This is very simple.
Corentine
nods and looks at Merle admiringly. Merle moves an inch away in alarm.
Merle, quickly and without pause, teaches Corentine the basic steps of
laundry.
Merle: And that is all. See, like I told you, it is simple.
Corentine: It is easy! Oh, I could do this in my sleep!
Merle:
(under her breath) You would drown first. (Aloud) Maybe, but you still
have to be careful. (Looks up and curls her eyebrows) You know what? I
have taught you enough. Would you like to try doing this yourself?
Corentine:
(Amazed, yet unsure) Oh, that would be splendid! But…I do not feel as
if I know enough…you know? You have done this much longer than I have-
Merle: Nonsense! You will be fiiine! Do not worry. (Walks towards the door) You will be just…fine…
Merle
sits with her back on the door, and her arms crossed behind her head.
Corentine looks at the tub of water. She sees her reflection in the
water and makes a face to it. She makes a few more. When she remembers
what she was supposed to do, she grabs a shirt and gets started. She
works for about one and half minutes until she gets to a shirt with a
larger patch of dirt. Surprised for just a moment, she grabs a bar of
soap and scrubs with the brush.
Pt. 3
Corentine: Mm! Mm! Eh! Eegghh…
Corentine, noticing
that the patch doesn’t get smaller, furiously dive-bombs the tub,
splashing the floor a bit. She gets the shirt at the edge to the water,
like an amateur surfer who doesn’t want to stand, and scrubs more
intensely, unaware of her own potential.
Corentine: Eegghh! Err! RRAAAHHH!!
Corentine
pierces the shirt open, making a large hole. The shirt ripping makes a
loud, unrealistic noise that can terrify the audience.
Corentine: (Staring deeply at the shirt) UH! Uhh…Rrr…GR! DAMN IT!!
Uncontrollably,
she throws the brush, which hooks onto the shirt, to the center of the
stage, while it becomes more difficult for her to breathe. The brush
makes a loud clunk noise that vibrates across the stage, yet isn’t
enough to wake Merle, who is fast asleep.
Corentine: Rrr! Ouh!(Breathes for a few seconds) Oh no. Oh no! Oh! What have I done? Oh!
Corentine
turns left and right guiltily and looks at Merle. She looks back and
begins staring at her own hands, shaking in horror.
Corentine: (Breaths deeply) Oh. Oh… What have I done? What have I just did? This is…wrong! Oh! Oh!
Corentine
shakes for a few more seconds until she covers her face and begins
crying uncontrollably. She gradually begins coming closer to the floor.
Once there, she stretches her legs towards the tub, nearly tipping it
over. She continues crying, more and more loudly. Merle, who looks to be
at peace as if it was the first time in years, begins blinking her
eyes, absorbing the scenery around her. She becomes displeased in
realizing she’s still in the studio.
Merle: (Sniffles) Yeh! Aaaahhh... (Yawns) Oh no.
Merle’s eyes open wide and stare at Corentine. She strokes her hair and rubs her eyes in shock and amuse.
Merle: (Chuckling) What are you doing?
It
takes a few moments for Corentine for process this comment. Once she
does, she tries to stop crying to respond back, but is still lying on
the floor.
Corentine: (Looking at Merle) Geh! Uuh! Bu-
Merle: You are embarrassing yourself. Come. Stop, okay?
Corentine: Uuh…Im…monstuh…
Merle: What?
Corentine: I’m a monster! Can you not seeee?!
Merle,
beginning to feel a little sympathetic, walks until she sees the ripped
shirt hooked onto the brush. She grows a little bit furious until she
begins to smile. She chuckles and picks it up.
Merle: Good work! (Looking at the hole) You got the stain out!
Corentine: Eeee…augh! (Looks away from Merle)
Corentine
continues to cry, making several high noises like a baby. Merle walks
over to Corentine, and carelessly throws the shirt-brush into the water,
splashing Corentine a bit. She kneels down next to Corentine and places
her hand on Corentine’s hair, caressing a little bit. Corentine stops
crying for a moment and begins moving her head closer to Merle’s knees.
Merle, a bit confused, allows Corentine to do so until Corentine’s head
and neck are placed on Merle’s lap. Corentine silently smacks and licks
her lips. Corentine swallows whatever she had in her throat and clears
her throat.
Corentine: I’m a monster.
Merle: (Softly) No, you are not.
Corentine: I am. (Sniffles) I am a beast.
Merle: (Softly) Nonsense.
Corentine: Then why did I-
Merle: You were frustrated. It is perfectly understandable.
Corentine: But…I’ve never…done that before. I felt like a demon from... Oh, I cannot say!
Merle: Go ahead.
Corentine: A demon from Hell!
Corentine stays silent for a few more seconds until she begins to rise from Merle’s lap.
Pt. 4
Merle: (Whispers) Stay down.
Corentine: (Surprised) What?
Merle: (Aloud) Nothing! I did not say anything!
Corentine sits upright near Merle. Merle, blushing a bit, stands up and stretches her arms.
Merle: (Breaths deep) Ahh. So what went wrong?
Corentine stands up, a bit shaken, and dusts herself off.
Corentine:
A certain shirt tried to make a fool of me. And…ended up succeeding.
(Nervously giggles) Really, I must apologize for my brutish behavior.
Merle:
It is fiiiine! Do not worry about it! Sometimes, on a really difficult
day, if rip three or four shirts, I try to rip two or three at a time to
see how much more strong I have become. I could survive a brawl here.
Corentine: With how many men?
Merle: Two on a good day, five on a bad one.
Corentine
moves her hand toward her lips, trying to stifle her laughter but
failing to do so. Her laughs are unpleasant and strangely offensive to
Merle.
Merle: Please! It is not that funny!
Corentine: (Laughing) No! Of course it is not!
Corentine
lets her mouth go and her arms move at their own pace. Her body sways
back and forth and she nearly loses her balance. Corentine begins
laughing more and more manically. Her face starts becoming red and she
can’t stop blinking her eyes. Merle grows more and more impatient until
she grabs Corentine from the sides of her body and shakes her furiously
like a child wondering what his present is.
Merle: STOP LAUGHING!!
Corentine
opens her eyes wide, staring right into Merle’s countenance, and shuts
her mouth tightly. She begins struggling to breathe and opens her mouth.
Corentine: Uhhua! Huu! (Coughs) Agh! Ooph… (Breathes) Oh. I am so very sorry. I have never heard a joke that vulgar.
Merle: What?! You stupid idiot!
Corentine: (Chuckles) Well, I am sorry but I have not.
Merle: What did you think I meant by ‘a brawl’? You know what? I do not want to know!
Corentine: (Guiltily) Oh, but I am very sorry! That was not what I was thinking! You are not that kind of woman!
Merle: Exactly! Wait…you were just joking?
Corentine: Of course. A brawl is a fight. Five men is a lot of men. Five on a bad day. It is funny!
Merle: (Staring intently) Funny. Funny, funny, funny, funny. It is what is.
Corentine: What is the matter? You did not think…that was funny?
Merle:
(Thinking) I do not know. I do not what is funny anymore. (Holding her
chin) I know one time in my life I would have gotten an aneurysm from
laughing at that joke. Well, maybe not. It was the joke of an amateur.
Corentine: (Giggling a little) It was bad, was it not?
Merle:
(Chuckling) Horrible. All right. Enough talk. Back to work. I know you
will need my help after how badly you destroyed that shirt.
Corentine: That is not fair!
Merle: Life is not fair. What can you do?
Corentine: (Thinking for a few seconds) Make another?
Merle:
Ha! The Artist’s paintings are the most famous and prized in all of
Europe. I am sure a new pile of dirty clothes are waiting for me right
outside. Come on. I will…show you exactly how it is done.
Corentine: (Smiling) Thanks.
Merle
and Corentine sit right next to each other, only about an inch apart,
near the tub. They each grab another shirt from the pile. Corentine sits
and watches studiously at everything Merle tells her everything. They
talk together for what seems like minutes, but is actually hours. The
lights become dimmer to indicate it is now late at night.
To be continued…
...
...
...
Introduction:
I’m
a bit thankful yet, hateful towards this project. Thankful that I’ve
gotten the opportunity to experience the life of a writer, if only
temporarily, imagine his or her choices, and how they can unexpectedly
affect what the finished work will become. Hateful that this change is
difficult to transplant into my work. This class(Creative Writing) has
shown me that indeed, that kind of cooperative input can be greatly
beneficial in the long run, so long as that help is well, helpful. The
comments I wrote for this class, I could never(at this moment) write for
an essay. I can’t spot those obvious errors and points even though it
seems as though everyone else’ flashlights are working and pointing
directly at the problem and I can see it, my flashlight stopped working
and now I’m off to the store to buy some new batteries. Indeed, this
class has been incredible with their input, with its diversity, and
never again will I put down the potential everyone encases…until I
forget what I just typed tomorrow. So thanks for being that teacher to
give me that opportunity. Now onto the story… I’m beginning to grow fond
of this one. As I mentioned in class, I thought it was a disturbing
failure, an interesting idea that might’ve benefited at the hands of
another writer. Now I say…STAY AWAY! THIS IS MINE! One of the major
changes I made, which will be noticeable the 6 or 5 seconds you look at
the front page is the name change from Collette to Merle. While I’m not
sure how unexpectedly drastic this change was though, now that I think
about, Merle is becoming her own character apart from Collette which may
be completely accidental. At first, it would be that one of the
laundresses was the experienced one, the other a newbie; the experienced
knows what she’s got herself into and knows there’s no way out and
knows the same will happen to the other woman, but has lost most of her
humanity and couldn’t care less about what happens to Corentine. That
was Collette. But in an unexpected change to a moment that would’ve been
comical, it turns out that Merle used to be a mother in her previous
life before becoming a laundress, making the situation and the
destruction of Corentine’s future inevitable yet much more compelling.
Well, at least that’s how it’s become so far. I might change Merle back
to ‘Collette’ if the mother idea doesn’t work out but it seems to have
much more potential. Of course, in a similar style to most of the great
dramas of our time, her life as a mother is implied with how she takes
care of Corentine. This is just the intro and you probably don’t know
what I’m talking about, but consider this after you read that moment
then you’ll see what I mean…maybe. It’s up to interpretation. I thought
about changing Corentine’s name but I’ve grown strangely affectionate
towards that name. It captures the fanciful and limitless potential of
Corentine’s imagination. It’s also a word that comes up on Spell-check. I
think I’ll name my daughter Corentine. Another change was making Degas
into ‘The Artist’ which works beautifully for this play. Upon revising
the Degas lines, I saw how quickly that could’ve derailed the whole
production into an early finish. Plus since my characters are
interesting to watch, I felt it would cheat the audience if a third
character was suddenly thrown in who wasn’t not given as much care and
attention as Merle and Corentine. Making the character a surrounding
presence makes the whole production much more interesting to watch and
it makes the climax much more striking and horrifying to watch. It could
also be silly and laugh-inducing since it’s going to be a voice talking
to Corentine as he’s about to rape her. I don’t know, I’m imagining
that and I feel like cracking up. I’m not at that point yet but it’s
something to consider. As for making it historically accurate as far as
dialogue goes, I have no idea if it‘s right or wrong so far. I’d have to
consult with a professional if I want to pursue this any farther. I
changed the ‘yeah’ which had been hidden deep in the original draft
since that was from the early 20th Century. I had no idea that ’yeah’
was a modern term. Someone mentioned in class that the play has to be
more theatrical since it reads more like a short story at the moment,
and I agree, but I’m having some trouble throwing those elements in
this. At the moment, the only theatrical moments I know I will
incorporate into the play are some sound effect to dramatize the objects
that are thrown to center stage, the voice of ’The Artist’ and the tub
of water being capsized, spilling large amounts of water across the
stage; it’s a possible health hazard, however. Also, at the very end,
the two unfortunate souls will pose in the same way as the painting. The
curtain comes down, revealing a large size version Degas’s famous
painting. Much like Merle has, this idea might change in the long run.
I’ve written more that I should’ve. Much like some people have an
unexplainable passion that captures them, I feel this class was
certainly that as the homework assignments never felt like homework and
writing those comments never felt like a chore unless there were
previous time restraints. In a similar way, this intro paragraph had the
same effect on me. I mean, look at how much I’ve written! I must be out
of my mind. Thanks for reading this far.
To Adam Howard, if he ever finds this blog post, and Creative Writing Class('09-'10).
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