Originally written on August 2012. Unlike previous posts, I will post my thoughts about this story in the comments on a later date.
"Hi, everyone. I'm…Arley Rodriguez.""Hi, Arlee." says everyone.
"No, it's Ar-ley, not Arlee. Actually, it, it doesn't really matter."
This is his first meeting.
"I, um, have an anger problem, but, you, uh," says Arley while scratching his nose, "probably already knew that. I'm sorry, I tend to say really stupid things when I'm…"
Group 5 is made up of 12 heads, each of them as insecure as the next. 4 brown eyes, 7 blues, 1 with an eye tattoo. The 13th head is the leader of the group, Earl Morris, who liked to call himself "the leader". Earl places his comfortable "leader's" chair near the exit in case a session ended prematurely. The quaint classroom setting couldn't disguise the ravaging fury buried in the bellies of Group 5.
"…nervous. Um, I'm fairly young, 23 or so, and I'm still not completely satisfied with life. I…usually take it out on others when a day doesn't go as planned. No one really understands the day system and…shit, let me start over."
Group 5 has many eccentric people. One of them is a pyromaniac, targets objects that remind him of his long, dead puppy. One of them purposefully gets into bar fights to get a larger wound than the night before. One of them decided to exile themselves from society for two weeks after destroying a Girl Scout cookies booth.
"Okay, the day thing is one of the problems but there's many, many others."
"Um, Arley," says the leader, "I don't mean to interrupt but we haven't gotten all the way across the room yet and a few people still need their turn."
"Oh, right, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Tha, that's it." said Arley, slumping back into the rental chair.
The remainder of Group 5 got to share the rest of their stories, each of them ranging from immature to borderline nuts. Of course, Arley usually believes he's immature and insane, so to him, the stories weren't very thrilling. Focused on how much his life currently is, he can only feel condescendingly sorry for the others.
"Thanks to everyone who shared their stories-"
"Especially that fuckface, Arley," Arley whispers to himself.
"-I can only imagine how many unresolved issues you all seem to have and I can only hope that we will be able to resolve each of them in the next few months. Acknowledging that you have an anger problem and are willing to come here is the first step to recovery. Each of you have the capabilities to empower yourself to a happier life." says the leader, the man hired by the government to prevent these people from killing each other.
"Oh, god," mutters Arley as he covers his face with his right hand.
"First, we'll start with an exercise. Everybody, please join hands."
The group disjointedly straightens up, spines curving around on the seat backs. They look to the left and right and grab each other's hands.
"Good, good, that can be very difficult for some people."
Arley sits up, holding his own hands together.
"Now close your eyes. That's it. Relax your shoulders. Let your body ease into submission. That's it. If your fingers are tingling, that's normal because it's touching someone else other than yourself."
Arley starts shutting his eyes, although he couldn't stop blinking them.
"Whatever thoughts you have in your mind right now, acknowledge them and then let them go. Clear your mind of all thoughts. Think of only a blank, empty void of nothingness that's absolutely worthless. Don't forget to breathe. Breathe. Inhale."
Every minute that passes by, Arley's head bobs like apples in a rusted bucket. He knew he wasn't capable of many things, but thinking, that's something he mastered a long time ago. Thinking about nothing makes Arley wonder what an appropriate depiction of nothing could be.
"Ralei, relax. Don't think about it too much. Relax your shoulders. Just let whatever happens to happen. Acknowledge it and then let it go."
Buzz Lightyear closes his eyes, says his famous catchphrase and rolls on the tiny car onto the loop-de-loop racetrack. Two women, terrible actresses, pretend to hurt each other in skimpy outfits; Arley makes sure to include wrestling boots because he doesn't want to see their painted toenails digging into their thighs. An airplane smashes into another airplane, twirling around in the air for a few seconds until dropping onto a commercial airliner that explodes spectacularly. An anorexic 40 year old man stares at a television set advertising a useless product, a new spray specifically designed to get rid of that pesky ozone layer.
"If this is troubling you guys, please don't make an effort out of it. The first time is always the hardest."
Seinfeld making a joke about waves acting like burly club bouncers. Ellen Page sleeping in her comfortable bed as Arley smokes on the hotel balcony at dawn. Peggy Hill using happiness to say a dirty word. Arley,18, and his little brother,13, looking at the alarm clock beeping at midnight, holding their greasy, sweaty video game controllers. A 5 year old Arley bouncing on the couch announcing that he was 5 years old.
"Okay, now let go of your partner's hands, raise your head up and open your eyes."
The group follows his orders except Arley who already has his eyes open.
"How long was that?"
"About 30 minutes, the appropriate amount of time, I think. Now does anybody want to talk about their experience?"
Most people downgrade their "experience" as a moment of peace. Some people talk about how it was the first nap they had in weeks. Others talk about how it was a brutally difficult challenge trying not to think about all of their problems. One person feels rejuvenated. Someone else thinks it was a complete waste of time. Arley isn't sure.
"This exercise was meant to be a primary evaluation of your current state of mind. For some of us, the next few weeks will be a blessing. For others, it will be a continuous hell."
The leader's mandatory speech prompts others to speak more truthfully about their moments, admitting that it wasn't as much of a waste of time as they had believed. They even look more relaxed with less wrinkles on their faces, less visible veins.
"Okay, that's all the time we have for today. We'll meet back here next week in the same room, hopefully."
Everybody stands up from their rusted chairs and walk out of the room, leaving only the leader and Arley, his legs curled up on the chair.
"Arley, I was a little disappointed that you didn't share your experience to the group. You looked very eager to talk in the beginning."
"Um, well, it wouldn't have mattered anyway since I don't really have anything important to say. Ever."
"Now that's ridiculous. Everyone has something important to say. I was wondering if you had some difficulty with our exercise."
"Yeah, I had a lot of trouble. I don't think I've ever had a peaceful moment in my life."
"Well," says the leader while touching Arley's shoulder, "there's always a chance to let a little bit of peace into your life. Listen, you have plenty of time now. Take a few minutes to think about what happened today and think about what the next step could be. It could take a long time but I'm sure you'll find it."
"Thanks. Have a good night."
Arley did spend the next few minutes usefully, walking to his apartment without a single gunshot wound, opening his apartment door without pulling his muscles, walking to his desk without tripping on his dirty clothes, searching for other anger management classes.
And with that, my 4-month break begins. But don't worry if you still want to get some kind of "blog" fix, the Tumblr blog is still avaliable for those services. And while you're at it, join the Facebook group or follow me on Twitter. My little brother Gary will take over the blog for now and he might post something zany so keep an eye out for that.
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Monday, January 7, 2013
The Fiftisixth One
Happy New Year everybo-...wait a minute. Oh. Uh...
It is now 2013 and many people have been wondering what intriguing developments this year will bring to all of the little children. Problem is that the little children probably won't be thinking about it that much. I always remember having a lot of difficulty remembering it was a new year when I wrote in my abnormally-sized kindergarten journal.
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I'd like to thank everybody who watched the first two episodes of Awkward Arley and didn't want to burn me at the stake shortly after. We will be working on more episodes in the next few months but it will be a challenge for the Awkward Arley crew to surpass the quality of those two episodes and a lot of pressure is on me to deliver something worth watching. At the same time, I've been working on two screenplays, two short stories, and the newly established Random Chatterings podcast. At the same time, same time, I've had to focus on my schoolwork more seriously than in previous years which explains why the past few months have been very lacking in terms of content. An unexpected development has been the amount of incredibly self-defacing jokes I've written that I've become very desperate in wanting to tell in the form of another standup routine. I've been researching/brainstorming various formats so that I could potentially share these jokes publicly whether it be an audio recording or a video to post on my channel.
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My winter vacation has been nothing much but video games, resting, and writing jokes that I can't tell a single soul without them burning me like they would have burned a witch in the Renaissance. All in all, it's been a pretty good vacation: I got to hang out with my family constantly (mostly my brother) and Santa bought me a bunch of amazing movies and video games for Christmas. The unfortunate thing about my living dominion or fortress of solitude is that i live with mein fuhrer (German for the leader). now dont get me wrong, I love my family but there is always that one person that you jsut dont want in your family but they still have to be there and you just have to put up with it. That my friends, companions, and strange people who are reading this because of pity, is my aunt. Now the thing that just annoys me is that she...is the MEANING of perfectionist; So, you can see how we dont really get along. My aunt is not one of those normal clean freaks, ohh no, clean freaks themselves would call her insane; she also has super hearing so if i open a bag of chips too loud, open, not close, OPEN a door too loudly or even breath too loudly, she will rain on you like god rained on the Egyptians, no wait..at least god apologized. She usually warns you that if you do "something wrong" again, she'll rip your head off. She talks to me and my brother when ever we do something wrong as if were retarded, like one time we finished eating and one of us forgot to put our chair back inside, we went to our room to go get away from it all in our paradox of wonders called "videogames". She called BOTH of us and talked to us exactly like this: "hey, did you know that when your finished eating, most people push in their chairs" now, you can just imagin the thoughts going on in me and my brother's heads, like telling her to shut the fuck up or just hitting her with a chair (my brother is insane) . She talked to us like if we dont know what manners or politeness is; the only reason we cant argue with the creature of perfection, is because SHE IS GODLIKE! Everything she says is right, and the way she does it is right EVERYTHING ELSE IS WRONG! Anywho...mein fuher just runs the whole damn house. Now here is where i just want to slap her and my brother is thinking of more medieval objects to damage her head with (he told me a mace). when she leaves for work, I can clearly hear her in spanish "oh my poor dogs, I really dont want to leave you with them i'm so sorry my baby's hopefully you will still be alive when I come back". Yes aunt...yes we cant take care of two dogs, in fact, for breakfast i was going to feed them rat poison! a nutritious breakfast! The thing that most annoys me is that every once and while, her back hurts and she cant do a damn thing, so she bothers everyone less (my brother calls this the best days ever) but, even when she is practically on crutches...SHE STILL CLEANS! It just pains me to see an aging woman in pain and just causing herself more pain, and not being able to help because she thinks im so destructive that i can burn down the house with a water gun. Still, Im glad i came to expirence new expirence, new ideas, and definintly, new video games, this has been a great time and im so sad to go and leave it all...but hey...there' still summer break right?
---------
Hey, get off the computer!!
Sorry about that. My little brother, Gary, took over for a bit while I was feeding the dogs rat poison. Which reminds me...I'd like to formally announce my brother's promotion as an admin to the blog! What this means is that he will also be posting things here from time to time. You can find him on Google+ with the name Shadow or under the blog section "The Information Survey".
-----------
Every year, I wonder why I continue to maintain this blog with the frequency that I have been. I'll admit my only audience is the faithful Facebook group that checks up on my blog from time to time and even then, only half of the group ever goes to it; the other half, I feel like I'm just pestering them for my attention. If any of you do feel that way, please feel free to leave the group whenever you'd like. I won't be upset if you do. The only people who know what's been going on personally in my life are my closest friends, my fraternity brothers, and my family simply because I'm not and never have been very comfortable with sharing my life with the outside world, which would explain why the input on the blog has always strictly been previously written projects. Someone once told me that it is a challenge to write things since they become more and more personal the more time you devote to the project, so by that criteria, I have been very personal with the material I've posted thus far. As much as I've enjoyed working on this blog, I realize that at this point, the blog has become a major distraction from the more important things in life. My grades have suffered heavily from pointlessly building up "fantasy" projects that never have a solid foundation and I'm at the risk of getting academic probation. I can technically attribute this risk to laziness but I will admit this blog has also been a part of it. What this means is that I will be taking an indefinite break from the blog as I reassess what my reasons for being in college are. My lifelong dream is to tell stories that change/challenge people's lives but I haven't taken this goal seriously recently. This break will be a necessary refresher not only for the blog followers but also for me. I will post something else this weekend but it will be the last thing I post until I return from the break in May, when I return to the City of Smog once again. To the approximately 300 friends I have on Facebook, I'm sorry I haven't checked up on all of you. That doesn't mean I will be trying to, it just means I'm sorry that I haven't but as I've told my really good friend, saying sorry is my moral obligation for committing unspeakable atrocities (like telling someone how I feel about them). That kind of thinking can emotionally drain me. With all that's been said, I always keep asking what is the point of this blog? What is the point of investing months on a post that I'm never completely satisfied with? Have I been completely honest with my commitment to being a writer? I honestly don't think so. What will four months without the blog do for me? I have no idea. Maybe nothing. Nothing at all. What will it do for you all? Either way, I'd like to thank everyone for sticking around for as long as they have reading the inane ramblings of a complete lunatic on a weekly/monthly basis. Other than my own selfish pursuits, you guys have always been a reason to try to be as entertaining a writer as I've tried to be these past couple of years. I know my humor is really difficult to understand, fuck, at times, I have to remind myself why I thought a certain idea was so goddamn funny in the first place. I will occasionally update the Facebook group itself with pictures/videos and the Tumblr blog will always be there if you want to see images I feel are worthy of being reposted based on my (non-existent) criteria. I leave you all with a joke I wrote recently: I think it's really depressing to talk to other people because it reminds me of how much of a fucking liar I am.
Thank you all for your time, attention, patience, and respect. I'll see you in May.
Your misguided moron,
Arley Rodriguez
It is now 2013 and many people have been wondering what intriguing developments this year will bring to all of the little children. Problem is that the little children probably won't be thinking about it that much. I always remember having a lot of difficulty remembering it was a new year when I wrote in my abnormally-sized kindergarten journal.
-------
I'd like to thank everybody who watched the first two episodes of Awkward Arley and didn't want to burn me at the stake shortly after. We will be working on more episodes in the next few months but it will be a challenge for the Awkward Arley crew to surpass the quality of those two episodes and a lot of pressure is on me to deliver something worth watching. At the same time, I've been working on two screenplays, two short stories, and the newly established Random Chatterings podcast. At the same time, same time, I've had to focus on my schoolwork more seriously than in previous years which explains why the past few months have been very lacking in terms of content. An unexpected development has been the amount of incredibly self-defacing jokes I've written that I've become very desperate in wanting to tell in the form of another standup routine. I've been researching/brainstorming various formats so that I could potentially share these jokes publicly whether it be an audio recording or a video to post on my channel.
--------
My winter vacation has been nothing much but video games, resting, and writing jokes that I can't tell a single soul without them burning me like they would have burned a witch in the Renaissance. All in all, it's been a pretty good vacation: I got to hang out with my family constantly (mostly my brother) and Santa bought me a bunch of amazing movies and video games for Christmas. The unfortunate thing about my living dominion or fortress of solitude is that i live with mein fuhrer (German for the leader). now dont get me wrong, I love my family but there is always that one person that you jsut dont want in your family but they still have to be there and you just have to put up with it. That my friends, companions, and strange people who are reading this because of pity, is my aunt. Now the thing that just annoys me is that she...is the MEANING of perfectionist; So, you can see how we dont really get along. My aunt is not one of those normal clean freaks, ohh no, clean freaks themselves would call her insane; she also has super hearing so if i open a bag of chips too loud, open, not close, OPEN a door too loudly or even breath too loudly, she will rain on you like god rained on the Egyptians, no wait..at least god apologized. She usually warns you that if you do "something wrong" again, she'll rip your head off. She talks to me and my brother when ever we do something wrong as if were retarded, like one time we finished eating and one of us forgot to put our chair back inside, we went to our room to go get away from it all in our paradox of wonders called "videogames". She called BOTH of us and talked to us exactly like this: "hey, did you know that when your finished eating, most people push in their chairs" now, you can just imagin the thoughts going on in me and my brother's heads, like telling her to shut the fuck up or just hitting her with a chair (my brother is insane) . She talked to us like if we dont know what manners or politeness is; the only reason we cant argue with the creature of perfection, is because SHE IS GODLIKE! Everything she says is right, and the way she does it is right EVERYTHING ELSE IS WRONG! Anywho...mein fuher just runs the whole damn house. Now here is where i just want to slap her and my brother is thinking of more medieval objects to damage her head with (he told me a mace). when she leaves for work, I can clearly hear her in spanish "oh my poor dogs, I really dont want to leave you with them i'm so sorry my baby's hopefully you will still be alive when I come back". Yes aunt...yes we cant take care of two dogs, in fact, for breakfast i was going to feed them rat poison! a nutritious breakfast! The thing that most annoys me is that every once and while, her back hurts and she cant do a damn thing, so she bothers everyone less (my brother calls this the best days ever) but, even when she is practically on crutches...SHE STILL CLEANS! It just pains me to see an aging woman in pain and just causing herself more pain, and not being able to help because she thinks im so destructive that i can burn down the house with a water gun. Still, Im glad i came to expirence new expirence, new ideas, and definintly, new video games, this has been a great time and im so sad to go and leave it all...but hey...there' still summer break right?
---------
Hey, get off the computer!!
Sorry about that. My little brother, Gary, took over for a bit while I was feeding the dogs rat poison. Which reminds me...I'd like to formally announce my brother's promotion as an admin to the blog! What this means is that he will also be posting things here from time to time. You can find him on Google+ with the name Shadow or under the blog section "The Information Survey".
-----------
Every year, I wonder why I continue to maintain this blog with the frequency that I have been. I'll admit my only audience is the faithful Facebook group that checks up on my blog from time to time and even then, only half of the group ever goes to it; the other half, I feel like I'm just pestering them for my attention. If any of you do feel that way, please feel free to leave the group whenever you'd like. I won't be upset if you do. The only people who know what's been going on personally in my life are my closest friends, my fraternity brothers, and my family simply because I'm not and never have been very comfortable with sharing my life with the outside world, which would explain why the input on the blog has always strictly been previously written projects. Someone once told me that it is a challenge to write things since they become more and more personal the more time you devote to the project, so by that criteria, I have been very personal with the material I've posted thus far. As much as I've enjoyed working on this blog, I realize that at this point, the blog has become a major distraction from the more important things in life. My grades have suffered heavily from pointlessly building up "fantasy" projects that never have a solid foundation and I'm at the risk of getting academic probation. I can technically attribute this risk to laziness but I will admit this blog has also been a part of it. What this means is that I will be taking an indefinite break from the blog as I reassess what my reasons for being in college are. My lifelong dream is to tell stories that change/challenge people's lives but I haven't taken this goal seriously recently. This break will be a necessary refresher not only for the blog followers but also for me. I will post something else this weekend but it will be the last thing I post until I return from the break in May, when I return to the City of Smog once again. To the approximately 300 friends I have on Facebook, I'm sorry I haven't checked up on all of you. That doesn't mean I will be trying to, it just means I'm sorry that I haven't but as I've told my really good friend, saying sorry is my moral obligation for committing unspeakable atrocities (like telling someone how I feel about them). That kind of thinking can emotionally drain me. With all that's been said, I always keep asking what is the point of this blog? What is the point of investing months on a post that I'm never completely satisfied with? Have I been completely honest with my commitment to being a writer? I honestly don't think so. What will four months without the blog do for me? I have no idea. Maybe nothing. Nothing at all. What will it do for you all? Either way, I'd like to thank everyone for sticking around for as long as they have reading the inane ramblings of a complete lunatic on a weekly/monthly basis. Other than my own selfish pursuits, you guys have always been a reason to try to be as entertaining a writer as I've tried to be these past couple of years. I know my humor is really difficult to understand, fuck, at times, I have to remind myself why I thought a certain idea was so goddamn funny in the first place. I will occasionally update the Facebook group itself with pictures/videos and the Tumblr blog will always be there if you want to see images I feel are worthy of being reposted based on my (non-existent) criteria. I leave you all with a joke I wrote recently: I think it's really depressing to talk to other people because it reminds me of how much of a fucking liar I am.
Thank you all for your time, attention, patience, and respect. I'll see you in May.
Your misguided moron,
Arley Rodriguez
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Awkward Arley [Ep. 2] - "Pandora's Prada Bag"
During the editing of the pilot, we started brainstorming ideas for episodes that might be longer than 5 minutes and came up with an absurd plot of Arley saving a gangster's life but getting shot in the process. Many rewrites of the plot tried to keep the gangster plot intact but then we came up with Arley becoming a unexpected drug mule who carries a box filled with drugs around campus. Eventually, we got rid of the gangster sub-plot completely and focused solely on the box. After that, we had a lot of trouble trying to figure out how Arley would come across the box and eventually settled on what happens in the episode, simply for the comedic value. As always, I'm very surprised at the ability the cast contained and couldn't be more grateful for their input and contribution. Incidentally, we started filming two weeks after finishing the pilot but focused our efforts on the next episode until delays lead to this one getting top priority again.
With all of that being said, I did promise you guys both episodes 2 and 3 much sooner and failed. For that, I'm sorry.
Here is the final draft of the outline, along with a few tentative titles. The final episode is much different from the outline. Again, NSFW. This one's particularly awkward.
Episode 3: Not Another Godfather Parody!; Twisted Ties; Black Suited G-men (Tentative Titles)
Unrelated opening scene:
Arley holds a cue card with the title of the show on it and is squished between two tough looking guys in suits. Dudley Dickface floats by and slaps the card off Arley’s hands. He holds “Episode 3’s title” in front of the camera. Fade out.
Scene 1: While waiting at a greeny stop, Arley witnesses a guy being beaten by a mob (armed guys with butter knives). Arley intervenes and the mob scatters. grateful for having been saved, the guy entrusts Arley with a mysterious cardboard box, telling arley that he is the only one he can trust to protect the box until he returns. The guy then runs off, leaving arley alone at the greeny stop.
Scene 2- Back at Arley’s room, he opens the box and finds a hastily written note which describes the contents of the box, and what will happen if it is not returned to it is owner (or something). Arley contemplates calling the police but is afraid that if he does, he will be accused of being a drug dealer. Dudley busts in to room talking about national drug screening day tomorrow, and how many balls it sucks (or something). Arley panics.
Scene 3 (COMPLETE)- That night arley has a crazy/trippy nightmare:
→ Arley in room filled with boxes that contain random/terrifying objects
→ BW camera; arley shuffling down eerie hallway with cardboard box at the end
→ In dream, arley wakes up to go to the bathroom, voodo/gimp mask guy standing there and gives him another box
Scene 3: Montage of arley going through school day with box
Scene 4- At end of day, arley is so emotionally / mentally drained that he finally returns to the greenie stop and does a whole ‘why hath thou forsaken me’ bit. The the guy returns for the box and after thanking arley he opens up the box and HUFFS DAT SHIT then walks away without saying thanks.
-episode ends with arley watching, stunned
If you liked the video (or would rather go to any other place on the internet), join the RS(TBTT...E) group on Facebook, follow Harold Howardson on Twitter, check out the Tumblr page and dedicated YouTube channel.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Being Told to Hold the Controller
Orginally written on October 15, 2011.
Part two of a three part weekly series. Before working on the neurotic character essay, I was assigned to write a 3 page argument on a subject of my choice and I couldn't resist tackling the controversial issue about video games and whether or not they've dumbed down society. As a gamer, I understand both the positive and the negative aspects of gaming, how it could isolate you from the real world if you play for a long time(24 hours is my limit) but how it could also be a way to experience a brand new world and interact directly with the environment. That sounds a bit outlandish but I can promise you that the essay is very clear. To be honest, this paper was something I could only dream of writing in high school and I can't find any problems with it although there are probably a few. One more negative thing about gaming: it is one of the few things that can set me off more quickly than annoying jerkasses. Like always, let me know what you think/how the argument could've been improved in the comments.
Video games have faced numerous controversies and accusations of being a wasted form of entertainment. Many people believe that video games have caused us to become more spastic, less able to focus on tasks, and diminished our capability to think. Video games simplify our impulses into objectives that range from getting from point A to point B to killing as many people as we can in a time limit, but as with any genre that we don’t really understand, we tend to generalize video games of still being this simple. In the year 2011, video games have advanced far beyond anyone’s expectations, and while enjoying the game is significant to its quality, so are the story and characters. Video games are capable of giving us enough control that they stimulate our behavior other than radically weakening it.
Video games have evolved from the basic arcade games, as they promote critical thinking as an incentive to completing the game. One of the most famous video games released in the modern era is Portal. The game begins with a simple premise: you are a lab rat in a science experiment, testing out a device called the portal gun, supervised by an artificial intelligence computer system called GlaDOS. Once the player absorbs those details, the game begins. Video games usually have time limits that increase tension and can make someone unnecessarily anxious when playing. Portal has no such time limit, and gives the player all the time in the world to complete each puzzle. The only distraction is GlaDOS who encourages you, the test subject, to complete each “impossible” puzzle, as well as quitting in order to get cake… that you will never get. The game also doesn’t pressure you into completing every single object at once; in fact, your impatience grows from either having a compulsory need to complete every single puzzle quickly, or from making brash decisions that only impede your progress. Portal’s many puzzles encourage you to slow down and make rational decisions in order to solve each puzzle, like solving a Rubik’s cube.
Portal is an innovative game not in only in gameplay, but also in story development that makes the experience more thought-provoking than others want to give it credit for. Portal plays normally up until a certain point where the game tests out your survival skills against gun turrets. You see a cube that can be used as a shield or a weapon, but it’s been precariously placed in between a malfunctioning wall panel. By removing the cube, you see a hallowed, rusted room that is the exact opposite of the testing labs; the game doesn’t force the player to see the room. It is only the player’s own curiosity that makes them cross into the hallowed shadows of the Aperture Science Testing Facilities where the player discovers some disturbing “holes” in the testing labs. Unlike most video games that force your attention, this is a moment you can choose to encounter or ignore.
The game makes a witting remark on how most people view gamers as mindless drones who only complete objectives, but this humanizing moment demonstrates how conscious gamers, or everybody else, can and have always been. A pivotal moment in Portal is when GlaDOS suddenly gives you a companion cube to use as a part of the experiment. The cube, despite being a lifeless object, becomes essential in completing the puzzle and you begin to grow attached to the object or accept it as just another tool at your disposal: it depends entirely on the player’s reaction. You arrive to the end, and hope to bring your cube along with you, but GlaDOS asks that you take your “new” friend to the incinerator for proper disposal. If you are the mindless drone GlaDOS expects you to be, you’ll destroy the cube and move on to the next portion of the game, but if you had any attachment to the cube whatsoever, you will hesitate, only be pressed on further by GlaDOS to destroy the cube. Evidently, the cube’s destruction is the only way to progress. Your attachment to the cube is spurred further when you discover some unusual wall markings that praise the cube, almost sanctifying as a holy object. Either way, Portal demonstrates that mental thought and understanding can be relevant in video games, as well as being a vehicle for advancing the story.
Now why does it matter? As I mentioned before, video games are currently a misunderstood medium. At one point, every medium we relate to today was lambasted by the majority for being useless and over stimulating until enough people made it acceptable in our culture. What these people don’t realize is that a sophisticated medium has existed for 40 years, and is much more engaging than a currently respected medium like film, for example. Usually, it takes a small group of craftsman who truly understand their craft to create glorious works of art much like the geniuses at Valve Corporation did in making Portal, but video games have always been an integral part of our culture, even if it has only been a small portion of it. As the medium continues to advance into new unexplored territories, people’s perception of games as an important medium will continue to grow, but even games like Portal shouldn’t be singled out as the only major advance in video games. Even goal-oriented games like Super Mario Brothers and Sonic the Hedgehog, made in 1985 and 1991, respectively, were innovative in their time for being bright, colorful games that also valued the player’s attention and mastery of the games’ diversifying locations much like Portal. Video games have always been relevant and in time, it will be as respected as the one of the most treasured literary devices of our time.
Works Cited:
Portal Version 1. October 9, 2007. Bellevue: Valve Corporation. October 14, 2011.
Support the blog by joining the group on Facebook, following Harold Howardson on Twitter, and checking out the Tumblr page and dedicated YouTube channel.
Part two of a three part weekly series. Before working on the neurotic character essay, I was assigned to write a 3 page argument on a subject of my choice and I couldn't resist tackling the controversial issue about video games and whether or not they've dumbed down society. As a gamer, I understand both the positive and the negative aspects of gaming, how it could isolate you from the real world if you play for a long time(24 hours is my limit) but how it could also be a way to experience a brand new world and interact directly with the environment. That sounds a bit outlandish but I can promise you that the essay is very clear. To be honest, this paper was something I could only dream of writing in high school and I can't find any problems with it although there are probably a few. One more negative thing about gaming: it is one of the few things that can set me off more quickly than annoying jerkasses. Like always, let me know what you think/how the argument could've been improved in the comments.
Video games have faced numerous controversies and accusations of being a wasted form of entertainment. Many people believe that video games have caused us to become more spastic, less able to focus on tasks, and diminished our capability to think. Video games simplify our impulses into objectives that range from getting from point A to point B to killing as many people as we can in a time limit, but as with any genre that we don’t really understand, we tend to generalize video games of still being this simple. In the year 2011, video games have advanced far beyond anyone’s expectations, and while enjoying the game is significant to its quality, so are the story and characters. Video games are capable of giving us enough control that they stimulate our behavior other than radically weakening it.
Video games have evolved from the basic arcade games, as they promote critical thinking as an incentive to completing the game. One of the most famous video games released in the modern era is Portal. The game begins with a simple premise: you are a lab rat in a science experiment, testing out a device called the portal gun, supervised by an artificial intelligence computer system called GlaDOS. Once the player absorbs those details, the game begins. Video games usually have time limits that increase tension and can make someone unnecessarily anxious when playing. Portal has no such time limit, and gives the player all the time in the world to complete each puzzle. The only distraction is GlaDOS who encourages you, the test subject, to complete each “impossible” puzzle, as well as quitting in order to get cake… that you will never get. The game also doesn’t pressure you into completing every single object at once; in fact, your impatience grows from either having a compulsory need to complete every single puzzle quickly, or from making brash decisions that only impede your progress. Portal’s many puzzles encourage you to slow down and make rational decisions in order to solve each puzzle, like solving a Rubik’s cube.
Portal is an innovative game not in only in gameplay, but also in story development that makes the experience more thought-provoking than others want to give it credit for. Portal plays normally up until a certain point where the game tests out your survival skills against gun turrets. You see a cube that can be used as a shield or a weapon, but it’s been precariously placed in between a malfunctioning wall panel. By removing the cube, you see a hallowed, rusted room that is the exact opposite of the testing labs; the game doesn’t force the player to see the room. It is only the player’s own curiosity that makes them cross into the hallowed shadows of the Aperture Science Testing Facilities where the player discovers some disturbing “holes” in the testing labs. Unlike most video games that force your attention, this is a moment you can choose to encounter or ignore.
The game makes a witting remark on how most people view gamers as mindless drones who only complete objectives, but this humanizing moment demonstrates how conscious gamers, or everybody else, can and have always been. A pivotal moment in Portal is when GlaDOS suddenly gives you a companion cube to use as a part of the experiment. The cube, despite being a lifeless object, becomes essential in completing the puzzle and you begin to grow attached to the object or accept it as just another tool at your disposal: it depends entirely on the player’s reaction. You arrive to the end, and hope to bring your cube along with you, but GlaDOS asks that you take your “new” friend to the incinerator for proper disposal. If you are the mindless drone GlaDOS expects you to be, you’ll destroy the cube and move on to the next portion of the game, but if you had any attachment to the cube whatsoever, you will hesitate, only be pressed on further by GlaDOS to destroy the cube. Evidently, the cube’s destruction is the only way to progress. Your attachment to the cube is spurred further when you discover some unusual wall markings that praise the cube, almost sanctifying as a holy object. Either way, Portal demonstrates that mental thought and understanding can be relevant in video games, as well as being a vehicle for advancing the story.
Now why does it matter? As I mentioned before, video games are currently a misunderstood medium. At one point, every medium we relate to today was lambasted by the majority for being useless and over stimulating until enough people made it acceptable in our culture. What these people don’t realize is that a sophisticated medium has existed for 40 years, and is much more engaging than a currently respected medium like film, for example. Usually, it takes a small group of craftsman who truly understand their craft to create glorious works of art much like the geniuses at Valve Corporation did in making Portal, but video games have always been an integral part of our culture, even if it has only been a small portion of it. As the medium continues to advance into new unexplored territories, people’s perception of games as an important medium will continue to grow, but even games like Portal shouldn’t be singled out as the only major advance in video games. Even goal-oriented games like Super Mario Brothers and Sonic the Hedgehog, made in 1985 and 1991, respectively, were innovative in their time for being bright, colorful games that also valued the player’s attention and mastery of the games’ diversifying locations much like Portal. Video games have always been relevant and in time, it will be as respected as the one of the most treasured literary devices of our time.
Works Cited:
Portal Version 1. October 9, 2007. Bellevue: Valve Corporation. October 14, 2011.
Support the blog by joining the group on Facebook, following Harold Howardson on Twitter, and checking out the Tumblr page and dedicated YouTube channel.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Everybody’s looking at me: The Neurotic Character in Literature
Originally written on December 7, 2011.
This is the first of a three part weekly series. I've thought about posting this since the day I've finished it but I've held off on the idea for several reasons, the most important one being: NO ONE COULD CARE LESS ABOUT READING AN ACADEMIC PAPER I WROTE. I'm currently majoring in Spanish and one of the things a Spanish major has to know is writing long papers. I made a joke in high school about how long papers would have to be in college. I should slap my past self for being a smug bastard. Despite this, the following academic papers that I will post for the next three Wednesdays are about topics that matter a great deal for me and as such, I tried to make the papers sound very personal, not like the stilted, template-based ones we wrote in high school. This first paper is about something I wanted to investigate ever since I began to appreciate comedy. What are the origins of the neurotic character and why have we begun looking up to it as a modern archetypical hero? So, even though this is technically an academic paper, I still consider it as a kind of creative work since I can rationally argue on the significance of my biggest cultural influences and that has to count for something. Due to certain restrictions (such as only being 5 pages long), I could only pick out several important cultural figures that could be considered as neurotic although a more consise paper would much longer, way too long for this blog, even. Like always, let me know what you think/how the argument could've been improved in the comments.
The neurotic character is the unspoken hero of our modern lives. When at once we looked up to the strongman who could overcome any obstacle, suddenly we revere the character whom does everything wrong. The neurotic character, at one glance, is the living, breathing archetype of everything conceivably wrong with the world, but due to the character’s inexplicable popularity, absolute hatred toward the character isn’t common. The neurotic character is believed to be a modern invention, or a comical contrast to the more serious archetypes, but in fact, the neurotic character has been an integral component of literature for centuries. The neurotic character, within the text, is despised by everyone but beloved by everyone outside of the text.
The neurotic character everyone relates to is George Costanza from Seinfeld. George is a relatable character from a well-established sitcom. George behaves unlike most people, obsessing over pointless trivialities, taking advantage of everyone and everything, and being at the blunt of every moment of misfortune that comes his way. George, for a sitcom character, is very depressing, and constantly ponders the necessity of life, wondering if the mistakes he continues to make are worth minimum wage or even life; his behavior is a definitive trait of the neurotic character who“…suffers from easy fatigability and irritability. He is dissatisfied with everything including himself”(1). The center of his problems is his failed love life. George does not know to keep a relationship together, and constantly makes destructive or impulsive decisions that ruin the relationship. Nothing could be more tragic or hilarious than acknowledging that George’s fiancé died from licking poisonous wedding envelopes he had picked out. George is a character with no realistic prospects; his reason for getting up in the morning is “to get the Daily News”(2). Even after hearing a friend’s harsh argument about George’s laziness and encouraging George to mature, still George questions him with a comic “Why?” as though his friend’s words of wisdom flew right over his head, and George still refuses to accept reality, that there is more to life than getting the local paper.
Larry David, a “fictional” character from Curb Your Enthusiasm, is the apex of the neurotic character in pop culture. Larry is a character who has always been looked upon a weird misanthrope in the eyes of the other characters who simply cannot rationalize his actions. Larry talks of many unspoken rules that others are not aware of, although the rules are morally based at their core, even if they are ridiculous. Larry makes terms of each “rule” in order to get the point of the rules across to the other characters that consider the rules as something shortsighted and pointless. Larry also works under his own understanding of others, even if at times, he can be fairly off, usually, he knows how to manipulate others for his own means, such canceling appointments and using his mother’s death as an excuse. At the very center of Larry’s behavior is an unmistakable core that has a sense of justice. Larry and his wife go to the grand opening of their restaurant; all goes well until the chef, who has Tourette’s, spews out several curses that halt everyone’s conversations and leaves the room in complete silence. Ever the good spirit, Larry recalls seeing high school students who shaved off their heads in support of a fellow classmate who is going through chemotherapy, and does what any good-hearted soul would in that situation: he screams “Scum-sucking motherfucking whore!”(3) Shortly after, his manager curses, and eventually the entire classy restaurateurs invoke in loud profanities. The clip ends with Larry in the middle of the ruckus he causes, arms folded, proud of the moral obligation he made for the chef. It is an unusual solution, one some people would have trouble understanding, but it’s a truly daring act to risk the reputation of your restaurant if only to spare the feelings of a chef suffering with Tourette’s. Though Larry’s behavior is unusual, ultimately it becomes understandable and relatable.
Notes From the Underground, a famous novel from the early 19th century, is an example of the development of the neurotic character. The narrator with no name begins his “novel” by the narrator’s voice “exist[s] in our society, when we consider the circumstances in the midst of which of our society is formed,” an indication that someone with the narrator’s opinions undoubtedly exists within the norm(4). The norm is questioned by the narrator and at times, may seem even more deluded and mistaken than the narrator’s own conceptions. The narrator’s “intense self-consciousness causes him to be vain at one moment and self-loathing the next,” and seething with bitterness towards the normal man, although his criticisms and observations are undeniably truthful towards the folly of people. The narrator’s observances are very similar to George Costanza’s character in that both of them are very pessimistic towards the outcome of the world, and through their pessimism exists a moment of truth. Also, both characters are aware of their inadequacies and uselessness in the scale of everything in the universe, and both of them question their reason to live. Dostoyevsky’s narrator falls upon the themes made important in modern times, and many literary critics “identify the [narrator] as the archetypal modern antihero,” or the neurotic character(5).
Don Quixote goes back even further back in the early 16th century, with a neurotic character that has become timeless. Don Quixote is a lowly man living in an impoverished village, but due to his love of chivalric literature, believes himself to be one of the characters from his books, a valiant knight. Throughout the novel, Don Quixote causes much mischief in his travels with his squire, Sancho Panza, as he tries to save a beautiful princess who is actually a prostitute, and fight a dragon that is actually a windmill. Kashdan’s analysis remarks on traits neurotic characters embody: becoming “self-absorbed” in their own world, and ultimately being rejected by society, traits worn proudly by both George and Larry(6). In Don Quixote’s case, his behavior is purely chivalric and highly respectable, and with no actual malicious intent. For Don Quixote, being a knight with principles and values is more worthwhile than living the simple life of a villager, and ultimately, it is a reminder that even the world of the normal individual can be distorted by cynicism, repetition, and fear of change. It is remarkable on how much more sense Don Quixote’s actions are compared to the values of normal life. Bringing back Larry’s example, Larry swearing in the restaurant may not be the most appropriate solution to the chef’s unexpected swearing, but it was the right thing to do, despite the circumstances or consequences.
The neurotic character is the embodiment of our unforeseen behavior, and the most truthful voice in our society. When at one point we looked upon the valiant hero or the confident one, now we look at the neurotic character as the antihero; despite their values and customs, ultimately what each character wants is justice for all people, and some kind of rational understanding for the world’s mysteries, including the production of characters like the narrator, and how such characters emerge from a seemingly normal environment. When we are able to recognize our own faults, develop them, and ultimately improve ourselves with this long, ongoing process, we cannot stop but recognize the bumbling characters of Don Quixote and George Costanza for taking that first step.
Works Cited:
This is the first of a three part weekly series. I've thought about posting this since the day I've finished it but I've held off on the idea for several reasons, the most important one being: NO ONE COULD CARE LESS ABOUT READING AN ACADEMIC PAPER I WROTE. I'm currently majoring in Spanish and one of the things a Spanish major has to know is writing long papers. I made a joke in high school about how long papers would have to be in college. I should slap my past self for being a smug bastard. Despite this, the following academic papers that I will post for the next three Wednesdays are about topics that matter a great deal for me and as such, I tried to make the papers sound very personal, not like the stilted, template-based ones we wrote in high school. This first paper is about something I wanted to investigate ever since I began to appreciate comedy. What are the origins of the neurotic character and why have we begun looking up to it as a modern archetypical hero? So, even though this is technically an academic paper, I still consider it as a kind of creative work since I can rationally argue on the significance of my biggest cultural influences and that has to count for something. Due to certain restrictions (such as only being 5 pages long), I could only pick out several important cultural figures that could be considered as neurotic although a more consise paper would much longer, way too long for this blog, even. Like always, let me know what you think/how the argument could've been improved in the comments.
The neurotic character is the unspoken hero of our modern lives. When at once we looked up to the strongman who could overcome any obstacle, suddenly we revere the character whom does everything wrong. The neurotic character, at one glance, is the living, breathing archetype of everything conceivably wrong with the world, but due to the character’s inexplicable popularity, absolute hatred toward the character isn’t common. The neurotic character is believed to be a modern invention, or a comical contrast to the more serious archetypes, but in fact, the neurotic character has been an integral component of literature for centuries. The neurotic character, within the text, is despised by everyone but beloved by everyone outside of the text.
The neurotic character everyone relates to is George Costanza from Seinfeld. George is a relatable character from a well-established sitcom. George behaves unlike most people, obsessing over pointless trivialities, taking advantage of everyone and everything, and being at the blunt of every moment of misfortune that comes his way. George, for a sitcom character, is very depressing, and constantly ponders the necessity of life, wondering if the mistakes he continues to make are worth minimum wage or even life; his behavior is a definitive trait of the neurotic character who“…suffers from easy fatigability and irritability. He is dissatisfied with everything including himself”(1). The center of his problems is his failed love life. George does not know to keep a relationship together, and constantly makes destructive or impulsive decisions that ruin the relationship. Nothing could be more tragic or hilarious than acknowledging that George’s fiancé died from licking poisonous wedding envelopes he had picked out. George is a character with no realistic prospects; his reason for getting up in the morning is “to get the Daily News”(2). Even after hearing a friend’s harsh argument about George’s laziness and encouraging George to mature, still George questions him with a comic “Why?” as though his friend’s words of wisdom flew right over his head, and George still refuses to accept reality, that there is more to life than getting the local paper.
Larry David, a “fictional” character from Curb Your Enthusiasm, is the apex of the neurotic character in pop culture. Larry is a character who has always been looked upon a weird misanthrope in the eyes of the other characters who simply cannot rationalize his actions. Larry talks of many unspoken rules that others are not aware of, although the rules are morally based at their core, even if they are ridiculous. Larry makes terms of each “rule” in order to get the point of the rules across to the other characters that consider the rules as something shortsighted and pointless. Larry also works under his own understanding of others, even if at times, he can be fairly off, usually, he knows how to manipulate others for his own means, such canceling appointments and using his mother’s death as an excuse. At the very center of Larry’s behavior is an unmistakable core that has a sense of justice. Larry and his wife go to the grand opening of their restaurant; all goes well until the chef, who has Tourette’s, spews out several curses that halt everyone’s conversations and leaves the room in complete silence. Ever the good spirit, Larry recalls seeing high school students who shaved off their heads in support of a fellow classmate who is going through chemotherapy, and does what any good-hearted soul would in that situation: he screams “Scum-sucking motherfucking whore!”(3) Shortly after, his manager curses, and eventually the entire classy restaurateurs invoke in loud profanities. The clip ends with Larry in the middle of the ruckus he causes, arms folded, proud of the moral obligation he made for the chef. It is an unusual solution, one some people would have trouble understanding, but it’s a truly daring act to risk the reputation of your restaurant if only to spare the feelings of a chef suffering with Tourette’s. Though Larry’s behavior is unusual, ultimately it becomes understandable and relatable.
Notes From the Underground, a famous novel from the early 19th century, is an example of the development of the neurotic character. The narrator with no name begins his “novel” by the narrator’s voice “exist[s] in our society, when we consider the circumstances in the midst of which of our society is formed,” an indication that someone with the narrator’s opinions undoubtedly exists within the norm(4). The norm is questioned by the narrator and at times, may seem even more deluded and mistaken than the narrator’s own conceptions. The narrator’s “intense self-consciousness causes him to be vain at one moment and self-loathing the next,” and seething with bitterness towards the normal man, although his criticisms and observations are undeniably truthful towards the folly of people. The narrator’s observances are very similar to George Costanza’s character in that both of them are very pessimistic towards the outcome of the world, and through their pessimism exists a moment of truth. Also, both characters are aware of their inadequacies and uselessness in the scale of everything in the universe, and both of them question their reason to live. Dostoyevsky’s narrator falls upon the themes made important in modern times, and many literary critics “identify the [narrator] as the archetypal modern antihero,” or the neurotic character(5).
Don Quixote goes back even further back in the early 16th century, with a neurotic character that has become timeless. Don Quixote is a lowly man living in an impoverished village, but due to his love of chivalric literature, believes himself to be one of the characters from his books, a valiant knight. Throughout the novel, Don Quixote causes much mischief in his travels with his squire, Sancho Panza, as he tries to save a beautiful princess who is actually a prostitute, and fight a dragon that is actually a windmill. Kashdan’s analysis remarks on traits neurotic characters embody: becoming “self-absorbed” in their own world, and ultimately being rejected by society, traits worn proudly by both George and Larry(6). In Don Quixote’s case, his behavior is purely chivalric and highly respectable, and with no actual malicious intent. For Don Quixote, being a knight with principles and values is more worthwhile than living the simple life of a villager, and ultimately, it is a reminder that even the world of the normal individual can be distorted by cynicism, repetition, and fear of change. It is remarkable on how much more sense Don Quixote’s actions are compared to the values of normal life. Bringing back Larry’s example, Larry swearing in the restaurant may not be the most appropriate solution to the chef’s unexpected swearing, but it was the right thing to do, despite the circumstances or consequences.
The neurotic character is the embodiment of our unforeseen behavior, and the most truthful voice in our society. When at one point we looked upon the valiant hero or the confident one, now we look at the neurotic character as the antihero; despite their values and customs, ultimately what each character wants is justice for all people, and some kind of rational understanding for the world’s mysteries, including the production of characters like the narrator, and how such characters emerge from a seemingly normal environment. When we are able to recognize our own faults, develop them, and ultimately improve ourselves with this long, ongoing process, we cannot stop but recognize the bumbling characters of Don Quixote and George Costanza for taking that first step.
Works Cited:
(1)Price, Antoinette. “Understanding the Neurotic.” The
American Journal of Nursing, Vol. 37, No. 8 (Aug., 1937), pp. 878-881. JSTOR.
Web.
(2)KrsONE305. “Kramer Talks to George About Life.”
YouTube. Web. July 13, 2009.
(3)
Sujeetwearsvests. “Curb Your
Enthusiasm. Season 3, Episode 10: Restaurant Grand Opening.” YouTube. Web. Jun. 23, 2010.
(4) Dostoyevsky, Fyodor.
Notes from the Underground. Trans. Constance Garnett. Indianapolis: Hackett Publishing, 2009. Print.
(5) Nielson, Keith. “Notes
from the underground.” Masterplots, 4th ed; November 2010, p1-4. Literary
Reference Center. Web.
(6)Kashdan, Joanne G. "Don Quixote de la Mancha." Masterplots, 4th Ed.; November 2010, p1-5. Literary Reference Center. Web.
Be sure to check out the RS(TBTT...E) group on Facebook, or on Tumblr for images, videos, and more (but not much more). Also, Harold from The Presenters has his own Twitter account now! Yeah...I'm running out of ideas.
(6)Kashdan, Joanne G. "Don Quixote de la Mancha." Masterplots, 4th Ed.; November 2010, p1-5. Literary Reference Center. Web.
Be sure to check out the RS(TBTT...E) group on Facebook, or on Tumblr for images, videos, and more (but not much more). Also, Harold from The Presenters has his own Twitter account now! Yeah...I'm running out of ideas.
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