"Mental" Notes: The Freshman Years (Pt. 2 of 2)

Check out The Freshman Years, Pt. 1, to see the initial background information about these posts. More information about the ideas will be posted later in the comments. Thank you and enjoy.

(1) An idea for a short film: Longtime artist Frank Tecran reaches his creative limits and falls into a deep depression that concerns his wife, Marion. After much discussion, Frank decides to return back home to his childhood home at Cleveland,Ohio. Despite the arrival of a new baby underway and the amount of stress used on finding a new home in Cleveland, Marion reluctantly agrees and they move back within two weeks. The trip reinvigorates Frank and he announces to the world his next project which he prematurely states as his masterpiece. Unsurprisingly, the whole town keeps open eyes and ears at the prospect of a new tourist attraction that could reinvigorate its popularity. The work is finished after many months and the whole city sits patiently at its unveiling. Frank makes a heart-breaking speech about new opportunities, and allows one tear to escape just as he pulls away the cloth. Excitement turns into confusion and disgust as Frank reveals a larger than life rendering of the David's phallus. Despite the numerous amounts of complaints and death threats placed on Frank, he unabashedly defends the reputation of his statue and of himself although he does try to make it more...publicly presentable.
"What if I tied some balloons at the end of it?"
'That's a terrible idea.'

This idea would be particularly difficult to pull off, not just in the scale, but in how it's meant to be a light-hearted dramedy about a man who's suffering from depression. Also, with the statue, it's meant to be an ongoing plot-point and joke which may or may not pull the audience out of the depressing outlook cast on by Frank Tecran. At this point, the statue unveiling seems to be a pivotal moment in the short but what could be done for a follow-through? Much like my other ideas, I came up with this one while I was walking to class. It seems that my best ideas usually come from a stroll. That or the bathroom. I think if I wanted find a good resource for pulling off a dramedy with difficult subject matter, I'd try to watch 50/50 or Dr. Strangelove. The name Frank Tecran has nothing to with anything, it just sounded professional, and Marion is a good wife name; I don't have any evidence to back me up on that.

(2) A 5 minute short film. Music: Hang On Little Tomato(Pink Martini)-The short begins with a small film festival coming to an end, just as the lights turn on. Everyone starts packing up their things until only three people are left. Arley(tentative name) takes a chance to ask the two guys if he can go home with them. He gets disappointed when they say they also walked here. He sees three sandwiches on a platter, and asks if he can take them. Since he doesn't want to to carry the sandwiches on a platter, he decides to wrap them in newspaper, packs his things and leaves the building, while bidding his two friends goodbye. He carries the sandwiches in both hands, tempted to juggle them, and walks in the darkness. He gets worried by the lack people around him until he sees a couple walking not far from him. (The music is cued here) He runs up behind him, but tries making as little noise as he can. Once he's two feet away, he slows down his steps comically, and proceeds walking behind them. He smiles at the couple holding hands and applauds them for daring to walk in the dark at such a late hour. The woman turns back and sees Arley behind them, but turns back as if she saw no one. He keeps his distance and observes the two lovers and their embracing company. The two walk down some stairs, and try to jump over a few steps together which Arley doesn't do. It's been two minutes and Arley is still behind them. He watches their hands again and begins thinking about his own experiences, all of them a fragment of his imagination. He grows sadder(a cue for the music to slow down, only the piano plays, ala Up) and decides to take a different path when a fork in the road appears. He watches the couple again, and walks alone into the darkness.

This is pretty much a word-for-word retelling of what actually happened to me one night in college. I know from the description of walking behind this couple that I seem to act like a stalker, but it was about 10pm when I left the film screening and I was walking alone for almost 3 blocks in a street known for having muggings so when I saw this couple, I didn't hesitate in following them. I knew both of them so they weren't in any real danger. For the short, I would actually try to make it completely silent, with only a few gestures and cues that tell the viewer that it's late and no one can drive me home. In an unusual way, this short is meant to be a music video for the delightful song "Hang On Little Tomato" by Pink Martini, although it quickly takes on a depressing tone once the music slows down and our protagonist begins to imagine how lonely he feels. With absolutely no respite to happy-go-lucky couples, I am jealous of every happy couple I've ever seen, and I blame this on my own shortcomings and impatience in looking for someone I'd like to go out with. To be frank, the only primary reason, as of now, that I'd want to go out with anybody is to get to kiss them on the mouth. I know, it's a very selfish goal but you can't help but wonder what it feels like, and sketches or depictions on TV/movies are a distant portrayal of what must be an unforgettable experience. I've been very cynical about kissing, describing it as "moist palms pressing against each other," but I can't help but continue to wonder about it, who the lucky gal could be. I wouldn't even mind kissing a guy on the mouth, but only a peck and only for a moment. It would be tricky to recreate those emotions for the short film but it would an intriguing challenge. It would probably be difficult to find a couple willing to be depicted this way. Last thing, Pink Martini is a multi-lingual group that I believe is still active today; a really good friend of mine introduced me to them after I asked her how I wanted to expand my musical tastes; she's graduating today and if she ever reads this comment, I wish her the best of luck in college and in the future.

(3) A short story/one-act play about a high school student who behaves pleasantly in front of everyone only to hope that they will vote for him as the Salutatorian, even though he actually is quite resentful towards everyone. His hopes are dashed when his best friend recommends to him to vote for the obvious choice instead of him; he learns who the Salutatorian is at an all-school assembly and reveals his true personality publicly to everyone. His chances for a spiritual redemption come by when he learns about the school's upcoming coffeehouse showcase and starts brainstorming a fake-salutatorian speech.
"That's not funny."
'What isn't funny? It's a bike chain and a sledgehammer.'
"But what does that have to do with love?"
'It's a thinking man's joke.'
"Is the thinking man in a vegetative state?"

I was going to work on this idea last summer but it ended up being a little too personal for me to complete. I came up with the idea shortly after a good friend of mine told me to vote for someone else as the salutatorian rather than myself as is stated in the plot. We(by we, I mean, Harvard-Westlake) have an annual event called the coffeehouse, an event meant to demonstrate everybody's talents, whether it be singing, poetry, awesome instrumentals, or in my case, stand-up. I performed in 2 coffeehouses, which I will post on the blog on a later date, and was writing my material for the third. I kept changing ideas from a normal stand-up routine that made fun of Prom and nail polish (info of which can be found in "Another Comedy Routine, 9/19/11") and a fake salutatorian speech that would be comical, dramatic, and nostalgic. The fake speech, even though I thought about it constantly, wasn't completed on time and I had to drop out. The quote in the description about a bike chain and a sledgehammer was, in fact, my original material for the second coffeehouse meant to be an ambigiuous analogy for love. I told the idea to my therapist who told me where's the joke? I didn't know. If I was ever going to return to this idea, it would be much later on, after I've become more comfortable with filmmaking and with dialouge-driven scenes.

(4) A guy, Jake, enters his room after shaving his beard, only to discover his room has been invaded by dwarfs. The conversation goes back and forth in strangeness as Jake discovers he's a butt-wipe who cares about the human race, and the seemingly harmless dwarfs have committed genocide of the gnomes. Needless to say, it doesn't resolve itself very well.

This is the result of waking up early in the morning and having no one to talk to while eating breakfast in the dining halls. Just like the invisible dogs idea, this idea resulted from just imagining a guy who discovers dwarves in his room. The jokes were achingly corny and I got bored with the idea while I was thinking about it and decided to go to ridiculous extremes such as accusing the dwarves of killing off the neighboring gnomes. Rather than learn a lesson, Jake decided to kick out the dwarves for their crimes against humanity. It's fair since the dwarves called Jake a butthole most of the time. Needless to say, this is not an idea I'll revisit anytime soon.

(5) A parody of weddings as a plot device, featuring a mouse who pulls his dead fiance all the way to the altar. The animated short begins with the customary wedding march played by an organ that slowly "disintegrates" into a record player version. Many different camera angles of the church, until the mouse comes into the church.

Parody might be the wrong word to use for this admittedly disturbing criticism of weddings. Specifically, this targets weddings as a last resort for sitcom/movie ideas in how an event known to evoke strong emotions in others. If there's any recycled idea I get tired of, it's when weddings somehow get involved in soap operas and one of two things happen: either the wedding goes off without a hitch and the bride and groom are written off the show OR wither the bride/groom are (GASP) killed by the bad guy!!! It's also meant to be criticize the perfection depicted in high-scale weddings by replacing the bride and groom with mice.

(6) A story about a famous celebrity, beloved by practically everyone, who is preparing for his 'coming out' routine where he reveals his hatred for humanity.
"I hate everyone. I want everyone to die in a fire."

People, at times, can be absolutely appalled by someone's behavior, regardless of how harmless the act seems to be to the person. Others, like psychologists, are fascinated by such behavior, myself included. The idea would be a very short film chronicling the rise of this celebrity and ending with his first standup routine that tears apart the very community that brought him to prominence. The quote I posted is very harsh but would be the celebrity's opening joke in the routine. The short would end with everyone in the audience becoming speechless as the celebrity leaves the mike on the stand on the center of the stage and walks off.

(7) Imagine someone who is able to view another person's mistakes via special glasses. The mistakes can be displayed as a black or shadowed movement that parallels the "normal" movements. A theory regarding whether or not we make more mistakes than we're aware of.

This idea came about after a conversation I had with a close friend at Starbucks. I tried to imagine a visually appealing way to track every single mistake we could ever make on account of trying to figure out every single mistake we've ever made, be it simple ones like skipping out on brushing our teeth or serious ones like potentially ruining a very close relationship with someone. Since there is no accountable way of measuring just how many mistakes a person can make, it's somewhat interesting to imagine the mistakes we do count are the ones we know we've done. I also thought about the things we say being wrong and how that could be represented with the "shadow" versions, either that the wrong words would become highlighted in black and becoming visible. Needless to say, this is an incredibly difficult idea to explain with words alone.

"Mental" Notes: The Freshman Years (Pt. 1 of 2)

With this post, I premiere my new column, "Mental" Notes. It's meant to be a public way to flex my brain lobes during an intense period of writer's block. "Mental" Notes, although it is meant to be a type of public forum, won't have the same kind of grammatical attention as other posts will, as it's meant to be a stream-of-consciousness form of brainstorming. "Mental" Notes won't be a weekly column, and there's a chance two posts of "Mental" Notes might follow the other on the next day or have a space of a month without another post. 

College was a wonderful experience, at least during the first weeks. After that, it became increasingly difficult to get inspired enough to write anything so any idea that would cross my mind, I would immediately type it via Evernote, even if it meant getting certain details to be very specific or vague enough that I could recall it later that night. I would continue to complain to everyone I knew how most of my ideas were either repetitive, blockbuster-ish, nonsensical, or just terrible, although everyone still wanted to hear about it. If anything, the only thing holding me back this year was my own self-criticism. There were several projects that I've been working on for weeks, Semaphore being one of them, but the writing process has been such a pain that these once entertaining projects have now become a burden, one I wish I could just do away with. Despite my negativity, I plan to finish Semaphore this summer. In fact, every single time I type anything, it feels like I'm just regurgitating someone else's ideas and passing them off as my own. Maybe I'm facing reality at this point, realizing that since I'm in college, I have to think about a likely career which at this point is being a writer, but that's as ambiguous a career as you can get. Now that I've bored you all with my incessant negativity, let's get to the point. The following ideas are some of the bright points of my wallowing, obscure beginnings as a writer in college, the few times when just considering how an idea could work have been a joy to figure out. Since I acknowledged it, one thing I will work on over the summer is improving my outlook on life. Whether it'll make a difference by the end of the summer, I'll have to see. I'll post more information about the individual ideas in the comments. Enjoy!  

(1) An average, normal day at Case Western Reserve University goes on as a junior takes a break from studying to read his favorite short story by Ray Bradbury. All is well and peaceful until a car drops from out of nowhere right into the middle of the street. The care lands nose-first and scrapes along for a few feet until stopping and dropping its back wheels onto the street. The junior looks away from the book and rushes over to the car. After struggling to open it, he uses his book to smash open the window, and opens the door with the door handle. He looks around for a second to see if anybody is inside when his entire arm is being held up a loud, growling noise. A dog leaps from the car and starts attacking the junior.
"This is what I get for saving your life?" he retorts as he slips off his jacket and drops it, which the dog continues to chew on. The junior cautiously enters the car, and notices something in the back. There are a stack of paint cans that cover most of the back seat. When the junior touches the can, all of them collapse on him and the junior is completely drenched in paint. After checking the labels, he's relieved in knowing that the paint is non-toxic but astonished when he realizes what year the cans are from: 2100(The current year is 2011). One of the dogs waits in the front of the car, shaking nervously, until it sees the junior approaching him carefully, and finally embracing him energetically with many licks on the cheek. The dog who attacks him tries again with the junior grabbing the dog's body and forcing it to behave properly. The dog gets half its body doused with "future" paint, as a result, so other people only see its backside instead of its front. The junior doesn't realize he's invisible until he notices a curious police officer paying no attention to him as the officer investigates the crash. The officer bumps into him and gets frightened, claiming that there's something in the car that can't be seen. The group of students try to approach the car but the officer threatens to punish anyone who does. The junior sees the dogs leaping out of the car and tries to follow them. The crowd screams in horror at the sight of the attacking dog's hind legs and tail.
"Where are you going?" says the junior to the dog. "Come on!" he picks up the two dogs and runs away.

One morning, when I was walking to class, a quick scene played out in my mind that involved a car landing nose-first and dragging itself on the road for about 8 seconds while the hapless college student can only watch. From that point, ridiculous plot points kept making more connections to the idea until reaching the conclusion that the car was part of an experiment that went wrong(not horribly wrong, mind you). At one point, during the original draft, I made an unnecessary joke about that the paint cans covered by the shroud resembled a corpse, scaring the junior to fall back on the car horn. To be fair, the plot is rich enough that I could consider it for a short story in the future, but far too advanced and technologically demanding for a short film.

(2) An R-rated movie for kids. A poorly timed music festival goes horribly wrong when riots threaten to destroy the entire city. The riots end after a week but the effect on the city doesn't. No one dares to try to leave their homes in fear of looters and graffiti artists. Two brothers, 13 and 8, do the unthinkable and go to the site of the music festival. They notice a banner that has been ripped from its pole but is still in pretty good shape. They go back home and try to make a kite of the banner. At the same time, a powerful gust of wind takes the two brothers, working in the garage, out of it, and into the skies, all 1000 feet of it. Hanging on tightly, the brothers begin fearing for their lives until they get high enough that they are able to see beyond the city and are amazed at the sight of it.  Brothers paragliding across the country using many large fabrics to get to their destination. Later on, they improve the design of the first banner, are able to find a second banner, and begin a ludicrous cross-country journey around the US. A frightening moment: bullies start chasing the two brothers and obtain a weapon to try to pierce the fabric.

This idea came about in a vivid dream I had one night. It began with both me and my brother running away from a manic who's shooting at us. A few bullets pierce bits of the fabric that we're holding. The maniac starts reloading bullets, just as my brother and I notice a steep drop ahead of us. At that moment, two of the maniac's cronies drop in from nowhere with automatic machine guns and RPG's. We have no choice but leap from the edge. We let the fabric unravel, open up, and the wind currents miraculously carry us into the skies. The maniac pulls out his own fabric (from out of nowhere) and chase us. The dream skips the chase and ends with my brother and I flying next to some hot air balloons. The background, about the ruined music festival, was included afterwards for the concept. This is a concept I'd love to return to in the future, possibly when I have a large enough budget to film it. 

(3) A man watching television is verbally assaulted by the television personality(TP) he's watching. After a few seconds of futile insults, the TP starts hurling glass bottles at him(that don't break)-(the man has difficulty reacting to the bottles hitting his head, only being able to slur out an inaudible word) until, finally, the man decides to turn off the TV and go for a walk. He opens the door, and takes a step, and falls 10-15 feet in a ditch that surrounds his house. For the next few minutes, the man struggles to pull himself out of the ditch despite his broken bones.

3) This idea came to mind shortly after a ridiculously long study session. I was walking back to my dorm, and an image of a man, whose fluids have been replaced by rancid toxins, watches an increasingly boring program. It was one of my many inspiring daydreams that temporarily replace reality with an unusual premise. It becomes a problem when I act out the scene in real-time to people in passing. The idea for the man to fall in the ditch was a way to surprise the viewer in my hallucinatory fantasy. Shortly after, I preceded to watch an entire web series, CrackedTV, from beginning to end…and it was still Wednesday.

(4) A college student, upon realizing he's becoming less and less social, decides to overcome his fear of greeting everyone while walking by deciding to embarrass himself and say "Ripe figs" repeatedly while walking in numerous tones(whispering and shouting).

After a brainstorming session about programs to consider airing on the college television station, I thought about an unusual PSA that encouraged people to say "Ripe Figs" as a way to break the ice in the college community. I would be the unfortunate guinea pig in the skit for Case Jackass (a show that sounds exactly like what you'd expect) and says "Ripe Figs" in a large crowd of people while someone would be filming from a distance. This is still currently a "private" idea but would be worth a shot as an abnormal experiment or at least a conversation topic for the cynics at Case Western.

(5) A short story/short film describing your trouble with making mac and cheese in college. It'll be called "Mac and Cheese".

This was my idea for my first short film before writing Semaphore. It would've starred myself as the hapless college student who forgot to practice making mac and cheese before coming to college. It would've been a combination of slapstick, visual gags, and exaggerated facial expressions (just like every other comedy). It was based on my actual first attempt at making mac and cheese one Friday afternoon when I was too lazy to head over to the dining halls which was a 2 minute walk from my dorm. I followed the instructions very closely but still made the mistake of drowning my macaroni in boiling hot water, causing the individual pasta pits to mend into a clump of fabricated greed. I poured the cheese on it and ate it, clump and all. It was the most embarrassing thing I'd eaten up to that point but I only had to wait two days for more disgraceful examples of sustaining myself in college.

(6) A short "foreign" film about someone who is with his friend, but then cuts his lips deeply. Done with gibberish and body gestures.

After writing the first draft of Semaphore, I took a walk and had this scene play in my head. It was supposed to be a heightened example of gestures being a way to express emotions coupled with buckets of blood pouring out of the lips (because that's funny, right?) Overall, this was more of an amusing thought than something I would consider making.

(7) Possible idea for a Spanish short story: the tale of a rat who survives a nuclear blast.

After I took Introduction of Spanish Literature, I realized that I didn't give enough attention to the Spanish culture as I should have all these years and in the spirit of the work of Julio Cortázar, I decided to write my own short story in Spanish. This was the first idea I considered. To be fair, it never went beyond this sentence and a quick little sketch I drew to visualize the impact, but it would've been a combination of prose and poetry, giving an impression of the explosion but never explaining where/why it happened. The rat would've been an interesting analogue for the aftermath of the blast. For some reason, I'm inspired by explosions, the look, sound, and feel of them, and like Hollywood, it's something I tend to heavily abuse during my daydreams.