What you are about to read will never happen. It doesn't matter how much money you contribute, how many brilliant minds you stuff into a cramped room to make the idea comprehensible, it will NEVER happen. Though the mind is free to create whatever scenarios it can, even it is fully aware of some ideas that poison the mind and endanger it. This is one of those ideas.
In 7th grade, I began work on my most ambitious project to date: Spongebob Squarepants in an adventure through time!!!! (Spongebob: Trapped in Time!!!). Originally written to be the next bestselling novel, this version is the film adaptation. Our hero Spongebob retreats away form society when a mistake at the annual fry cook games costs him the gold spatula and a life of happiness working at his favorite job. Nearly everyone in Bikini Bottom insults Spongebob for his mistake, and so, Spongebob decides to stay in his pineapple until it rots. Just when all hope is lost, his friend Patrick encourages Spongebob, through much comical complication, to experience the outside world again. Reluctantly, Spongebob does until waltzing into Plankton's clunky restaurant, The Chum Bucket, where he and Patrick uncover Plankton's latest diabolical device, a time machine! Plankton goads the two bestest buddies to go into the machine, only to be teleported back in time, back to the days of Ancient Egypt. Spongebob's adventure takes him on a rampage with a flying car of the future, getting swallowed by a Sphinx, makes him and Patrick the last ones remaining when the Titanic splits open, accidently kill a few gladiators and lion fish in Rome, wonder about their lives as they run away from the battle happening in Gettysburg, and inadvertently cause the end of the universe which, since it's a Spongebob movie, they somehow repair and make it back to the present. The adventure features an impressive combination of classic cel animation and CGI(Computer Generated Imagery) in the designs of the future buildings of Future Bottom and the Titanic, as well several other set pieces such as the kickass flying car, and the Sphinx which somehow comes to life and has functioning organs. It's a PG-13 rated flick so it features intense cartoon violence that might frighten a tot or two, some profanity, and a few low-brow jokes.
Why it will never happen: The idea, although practically understandable for standard saturday morning cartoon fare, is far too ambitious to ever be produced. Imagine me, in 7th grade, lacking of any kind of friends, rushing home every day after completing his homework, booting up his computer to write the next chapter of the Spongebob epic that would cement his place in history. Even with that kind of determination, it would never be picked up by anyone, and trying to make a blockbuster film of this degree would require a budget larger than for the making of Tarzan, the most expensive animated movie to date. It's also a fairly risky feature in trying to tell a coherent story that mixes in high-speed dramatic thrills, suspense, and pitch-perfect comedy all in one. It's also risky for even being more violent than a regular animated movie and for being more risque. Also, even with Spongebob, the market film companies are chasing after these days are CGI features, leaving the cel animation features to be left in the dust. The reason I would ever write a story like this was because of my disappointment of the promise of a Spongebob special(Dunces and Dragons) that ended up only being 30 minutes long. The movie would run for about two hours, again something almost unheard of for an animated movie, but if the Spongebob creators were risky enough to make a character like a walking, talking sponge, then maybe this idea might work. It's such a large idea that I will spend more posts talking about it, but in the near future.
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